One cold evening, while alone in my quiet room, I cried.
I suddenly felt that I am too tired. I suddenly realized that despite all my dreams for myself, everything becomes of less priority when I think that I want to live with my son. More and more, I began to be aware that my ultimate wish is to be with him everyday and to be able to guide him as he grows up. I cried because I know that this ultimate wish for myself is not yet where I am led to. With my circumstances as a single mother, I have to do my best so that my son lives the good life he deserves. I got confused. Where do I want to go? Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be?
I attended a Worship Night to help clear my mind. Surprisingly, this was that night’s message: “You are where you are because God wants you to do something there.” I am where I need to be at this time. There was the answer.
I was led to this place. Things fall into their places and led me to where I am. I entered this corporate world not knowing the difficulties that I may face but I trusted God’s leading and I will continue to do so. I will continue to trust that wherever He is taking me is the best place for me and my son.
While I take on this road, I pray for guidance, strength, and endurance that whatever challenges I may face, I will not be swayed. I pray that I may continue to brave the path God wants me to take. I will not get tired asking the Lord that someday He may grant my wish to live everyday with my son without worrying about our expenses and needs, to be able to be there in his milestones, sleep with him at night, make him warm when he is cold, to kiss him with every triumph, and hug him upon every struggle. More that I want to be successful worker, I want to be a strong, ‘present’, and emotionally available mother.