Perhaps many people who have been hurt badly even for once in their lives have problems trusting other people. Though it may be hard to admit, there are times when we doubt the sincerity of others.
This is a story that I wanted to share months ago but for some reasons, I cannot. This is about someone whose intentions I doubted because his kindness towards me was way beyond normal.
When this someone knew that I have a kidney disease and was separated, he started giving me more attention and care- to note that he is someone we consider ‘high-level’. By these, I meant we talked beyond work-related matters, which we never did. He cares about my health and even provided financial support, which I have always insisted on not accepting, to ensure that I watch my health and wellbeing. The first time he offered, I embarrassingly accepted because I knew he wanted to help. The next thing I knew, I would really need that help. The second time he did, I literally had sleepless nights. For weeks, I could not focus.
Unfamiliar to this level of care and support from someone outside of my family, I judged his intentions. I began fighting with my thoughts because I know that he is a family man and a religious one. Things became uncomfortable. Maybe he sensed what I felt so he sent me this message: “Life gives unto life.” I later learned that it is part of a poem and I hope to share my favorite lines:
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the freehearted earth for mother, and God for father.
He said that Khalil Gibran’s book is his bedside reading, next to the bible. After that, I learned that he sees me as a deep-rooted person, truly deserving of a helping hand. I was relieved. That message thought me these:
- No matter how strong we feel we may be, it is a fact that everyone needs help and it will not hurt to accept it.
- Sometimes, our natural filters- our experiences and knowledge- make us think that we know how other people feel and think but we may not be emphatic enough. We might not be wise enough.
- Doubting and giving much weight on the ‘gift’ is being unfair to yourself and the giver. Nurture it and use it as wings.
Now as I start with my new chapter, I thank all who are helping me rise up. A piece of advice, an ounce of care, maybe a liter of tears shed with me when I cried, a penny, or a shared ride—all of these have given me wings.
Thank you, sincerely.