Settle only when you find this man

February 10, 2017
Settle only when you find this man

The way my husband and I separated was not common. In our last afternoon together, we had a date and we were happy. He even invited me to visit our friend who just gave birth. In the evening, when we were packing our things, I found my wedding ring, which I have not used for a while because of my swollen finger.

I said: “Do I still need to pack this? I will not be able to use it anymore since we will part ways.”

He replied: “Bring it. You will still wear that.”

Our conversations during our last days together were all like this. They made it hard for me to let go.

Who will ever know if your marriage will work out or not? I know we have all dreamt of a happily ever after for ourselves but the painful reality is: Not all marriages work out. So how do you know who to marry? How do you know to whom you should say “I do” to?

Many will say: Do not settle until you find this man:

A man who respects you and patiently waits for the right time- for God’s time

A man with integrity- able to choose the right over the wrong

A man who loves and fears the Lord, and makes Him the center of your relationship

A man who is willing to accept who you are, embrace your flaws

A man easy to forgive and is open to reasons

A man able to bend his knees to show he cares to the best of his ability

A man who takes courage to fight for you and do the best for the both of you

A man who can love unconditionally, through the good and the bad, in health and in sickness

So after all of these have been said, did I choose wrong? I think I did not.

Even after everything that has happened and everything that is happening, I still feel that I married the man God created for me. Love is also a decision and once in our lives, we decided on that love.  So probably it is true that we sometimes do not end up with the ones we truly love; or we do not get to spend the rest of our lives with the person who holds our hearts. But we still love in many other forms. Yes, we still love and love in time will find its way.

When all of these happened in our lives and even after we broke up, I prayed for God to protect our marriage no matter what. I do not know what that would mean or if that means I will spend the rest of my life HAPPILY waiting for his heart and mind to change. But I know for sure that one day, God will deliver.

So take that risk to love and pray. Whether you marry your ideal man or a man who contradicts all of your ‘set criteria’, if any; pray for your marriage. Pray for more graces so that whether you experience some bumps and long distances, you will endure and will not be shaken. You remember that what is meant for you will always be meant for you. You do not have to insist on it or turn the world around to get it. Just wait. By God’s grace and with your faithfulness, things will fall into the right places.

And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord.” Hosea 2:19-20
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